In an age where individualism is glorified, where the only place we seem to see young marriages occurring is on 19 Kids and Counting, there are a lot of misconceptions about what being a young, married couple looks like. My husband and I got married at 22, and here are a few of the assumptions we’ve realized people commonly hold.
1. You shouldn’t get married unless you’re perfect on your own.
Barring the possibility that you’re some sort of alien mutant, I can promise you this isn’t true – not of any couple. Ever. No matter your age. It’s not true of my husband and I. We’re two super messy people who really, really like each other and our messiness, and we like being messy together, rather than on our own. It’s not that we don’t have issues, it’s that he makes me better and I make him better. Imperfection is beautiful. It’s reassuring. It’s glorious. It’s human.
2. You will lose yourself as an individual.
We’ve all known couples who lose themselves in their relationships – it happens. Your significant other should (hopefully) be a priority for you, you should also be a priority for you. Losing yourself is not inevitable.
Carve out time for yourself to do your own thing. Remember who you are. You are who your S/O fell in love with and you are the person you’ve spent your whole life with. Self-love and self-care are important. When you like yourself, it’s contagious; vitality is catching. When you’re happy, the one you love will notice and be happier too. This does nothing but lead to an energized relationship. (Promise.)